we all are slaves

whether we like it or not, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not (funny how real truth isn't impacted by our petty opinions), we all serve something. you do. i do. no matter our faith or lack of, no matter where that faith is placed, we all spend every moment of our lives serving something... or someone. now, to be sure, for some of us this is more apparent than others. certainly for the child sold into the sex trade in some not-so-far-off country, we say, "yes, that's slavery." even for the man or woman in the west who has a job and lives worse than paycheck to paycheck, barely scraping by, working for a ruthless employer in miserable conditions, we can maybe feel a pang of sorrow and say (though not so accurately), "that's almost slavery." but that's not what i'm talking about so much. we all are slaves beyond our physical circumstances. that is not to say that we can't be enslaved by our physical circumstances (just talk to any recovering addict). but now i'm getting ahead of myself.

i understand that many people have different beliefs even in the christian faith about the spiritual realm and so i want to speak as simply and generically as possible, but all the same please try to overlook what you may perceive as errant doctrinal matters for the sake of my overall point. i was in toronto, canada, for a few days recently as part of a conference of missions agencies. on the last evening of the conference, after the final meeting had ended, i and the rest of the team i was with came into an encounter with a non-christian woman who is demonized. for the next few hours, seven of us talked to, prayed for, and otherwise did what we could to free this woman from the evil spirit(s) that plague her (not that it would have been by our power, but rather by God's). in her moments of lucidity, we asked this woman time and time again whether she wanted the physical, mental, and spiritual torment being inflicted upon her by these demons to stop. each time, she refused to answer the question directly and a few times stated, "i feel like i should just go with it and let it run its course." as she left that place in the early hours of the morning still demonized, i was overcome with a great deal of sadness, thinking i was not able to understand why someone would - when given the choice - willingly choose to stay under such a yoke of slavery.

unfortunately, though, i think maybe i can understand - though i wish i couldn't. what about the young man who feels his race and culture have been so oppressed that bitterness takes root in such a way that the bitterness itself moves from being simply a driving force to become a part of that young man's identity? what about the addict (choose your poison - drugs, food, sex, etc.) who finally gives in to his craving to the same degree... that this addiction becomes a part of his identity?

or, how about we bring this maybe closer to home for most of the western culture - what about the man that lives out his days in the middle-to-upper middle class playing the subconscious game of keeping up with the joneses... or maybe instead simply chasing the life of comfortable living, with its nagging perpetual need to up the comfort level by obtaining and doing more and/or different things to a point where the level of comfort in this man's lifestyle becomes a part of his identity? oh, this one is tricky, because it so easily masks itself within community, because it so easily justifies itself under the guise of provision or creating the "best" life possible for one's family (see "our limited view" entry).

the similarity i see in all of these is that each one is a form of slavery. no one is free in this lifetime from making choices how we expend the resources we've been given - whether that be money, time, talent, etc. within each of those choices is a decision to sacrifice one thing for another. a sort of over-arching economy of life. whatever we sacrifice to... i suppose that is what we are serving, isn't it? when does serving become slavery? i'm thinking out loud here, but i think it has to do with identity. once we derive our identity from - whether consciously or simply by repeated demonstrated loyalty to - something, we are a slave to it. i think the identity part of the equation is important because our identity is so hard to break from. it means throwing away who we are, who we believe we are, what we can rely on in ourselves. our identity gives us a basis from which to make decisions - critical life-changing decisions all the way down to what-do-i-want-for-breakfast decisions. to be rid of that identity is painful... to be said in a more frightening manner, to be rid of that identity is unsure and uncomfortable. and comfort has tremendous power.

i don't know, but i wonder if the demonized woman would not "come out of agreement with" her tormentors because - despite the pain and confusion and fear they caused - it was yet a pain and confusion and fear she knew. that she was "comfortable" with (strictly speaking just as far as it was a known quantity for her). that she - for hopefully the short term - takes as part of her identity.

in the Bible, paul speaks about a slavery in a few different ways. i think it's interesting, though, that although paul describes christians as being free from a "yoke of slavery" - whether to sin or to religious laws, he also describes christians being slaves of Christ. we all are slaves.

so what is your identity? who or what are you enslaved by? it need not be a negative term - who or what do you want to be enslaved by?

and, speaking of slaves: www.freetheslaves.net

our limited view

what is our perception of "worthwhile"? what shapes our view of "success"? i heard from a man today that challenged me with a story relating to these questions.

he told of a missionary that spent the last forty years of his life trying to bring the good news of Christ to the country of albania. during his entire time working there, he saw only six albanians come to Christ - several of those were killed for their faith and the rest were run out of the country. this missionary then died. now if we stopped the story at this point, would we say his time spent serving in albania was worthwhile? was this missionary successful?

ah, but the story does not end there. a few short years after this missionary's death, albanians began to accept Christ. the number of albanian believers grew, and then numbered over 40,000 people. if you mention this missionary's name to a christian in albania, they will say that the church in albania was built on the shoulders of this same missionary who during his lifetime saw no tangible success for his efforts. this missionary's daughter - to this day - still serves in albania.

the man who told the story of this missionary then spoke of his own son and daughter-in-law that are working in world missions. they are currently attending language school for the next two years in order to learn the language of the country that they will be ministering to. this father has been asked of his son and daughter-in-law, "are they worth supporting?"

it's so easy to measure worth or success based on a standard of what the immediate, tangible return is. why is it that we do not give equal value to those things that are worth doing simply because they are worth doing... because they are the right things to do... because we are called to do them... because those things truly matter? how often do we invest our blood, sweat, tears, and finances in things because - regardless of outcome - they are worth doing? i think it's because we usually lack the eternal perspective... or maybe a divine perspective. the idea that God does not spend His people's lives carelessly, or has a plan that's... oh, just slightly beyond our perceptive powers... doesn't enter our minds often enough. or, if it does, it's merely a thought; never a convicting truth that causes us to act beyond our comfort.

the last story this man told: he himself for decades tried with others to bring the gospel to albania. he and his co-workers were unable to enter the country, so they used various (in his words) "stupid" methods to desperately get the message of Christ into the country. one method they used was to wrap literature in hundreds of plastic bags and send it down rivers that flowed into albania. another method they used was to (no joke!) put gospel tracts into glass bottles and send them into the ocean on a neighboring coastline, with the full knowledge that these bottles would be smashed to bits by the tide sending these bottles into the rocky albanian shoreline. yes, but years later this man had the opportunity to personally meet several albanian believers whose first encounter with the gospel of Christ was through a plastic-wrapped tract floating down the river or a tract in a bottle washed ashore completely intact.

it's written,
I'll turn conventional wisdom on its head,
I'll expose so-called experts as crackpots

so where can you find someone truly wise, truly educated, truly intelligent in this day and age? hasn't God exposed it all as pretentious nonsense? since the world in all its fancy wisdom never had a clue when it came to knowing God, God in His wisdom took delight in using what the world considered dumb-preaching, of all things!-to bring those who trust Him into the way of salvation.

1 corinthians 1:19-21
the message

faith of our fathers

working with a missions organization, i often have the unique opportunity to meet and/or hear from people from various parts of the world and find out about their life experiences related to their faith. i had one such opportunity to hear from one of them today - a middle-aged man (let's say his name is ivan) from russia. ivan (via a translator) told of his experiences growing up in the rare evangelical christian household in russia. as a youth, his one desire was to get a typewriter so that he would be able to write and distribute christian literature that was so lacking in russia. he related the story of how he was so passionate to continue his writing that on a sunday, he explained to his father that he would continue writing instead of going to church to worship. ivan's father countered with the statement that the most important thing in our lives is our worship of God... above anything else we could do.

ivan then told of his grandfather and great-grandfather. during the communist years in russia, gatherings of any type consisting of more than five people were illegal. ivan's grandfather (a passionate follower of Christ himself) would stage "birthday parties" on a regular basis, inviting twenty or so christians to sit around his table, each with bits of cake in front of them, in order to fellowship with other believers. one evening the kgb blocked the doors and invaded ivan's grandfather's home, arresting ivan's grandfather and sending him to prison. prisoners of this type were usually imprisoned for ten years and then released, but in ten years' time when ivan's grandmother went to the authorities to ask where her husband was, she was told, "he's fine - never come back here again." being afraid, she never investigated further and never saw ivan's grandfather again. they later found out that ivan's grandfather was executed two weeks after being first arrested. years later, after the fall of the iron curtain, one of the large old prisons was opened to the public as a museum, and the prison records were opened as well. ivan found out that his great-grandfather had suffered the very same fate as his grandfather had. but it was because of the commitment of ivan's forefathers that ivan has had the courage to respond to God's direction in his own life.

God has since called ivan to start a church in the area where he lives (a community of approximately 200,000 people with no church in the community). the church has been around for nine years now, and has a congregation of about 100. it's still a challenge to find a regular meeting place, as although there is technically religious freedom, the russian orthodox church is the only officially sanctioned church/religion and every other (including - as in this case - evangelical christianity) is viewed as a cult and as such they are frequently kicked out of the places they meet once people find out they are a church. ivan says that if you ask the majority of people on the street, they will readily classify themselves as russian orthodox. if you ask them if they believe in God or the Bible, though, those same people will deny both and call themselves atheist. in the russian peoples' minds, these two items can coexist without problem. such is the difference between dead religion and a relationship with God.

amidst all of this, russia consistently ranks number one in world for the annual amount of suicides. more people kill themselves every year in russia than die in car accidents by a 20% margin. ivan says, "the problem is not food. we have food. the problem is a people without hope in Christ." ivan has just completed a visit to the united states to learn from american churches ways to minister to and draw people to his church.

who am i?

a bit about me... husband, father, musician, missionary... what? yes, missionary. but more about that in a minute.

i grew up on the coast of northern california and lived there until the summer of last year. growing up i don't think i was ever really one of those people that knew exactly what they want to do for a living (i wonder how many people that is anyway). instead, my life aspirations were basically a set of general goals appropriated from my father: have the family, the house, and the good secure job with benefits, then retire as early as possible and spend the rest of my days doing what i wanted. and you know what? i got the family, i got the house, and i got the secure job with benefits - doing something that i wasn't at all passionate about, as good as it was (decent pay, good benefits, a job that i could leave at the office when i left for the day). it was exactly what i wanted, especially for someone of my personality type that needed security and stability... i tell people that i was the type of person that, when i came home, i needed to be able to depend on the chair in the living room being in the same place as i left it in the morning.

then something happened. actually, it was a lot of somethings, but i'll save you the even-more-long-and-drawn-out version. in the midst of my comfortable, basically unchanging life, God was allowing a series of events to take place to draw me out of my static life. the event that stands out in my mind as the point at which things really came to a head was a fantastic job performance review. in an instant, i felt like i had peaked in my job... and simultaneously with the excitement that came with the good review was a sense of dread. "alright... now what? 30 more years of the same thing?" what followed was an intense period of soul-searching and praying... and depression and confusion. it was during this time that, in the midst of my calling out to God for direction, i remember saying, "okay... You made me, so You know me better than i know myself... You know what will satisfy me... so either confirm that i'm supposed to be where i am now or show which way to step and i'll do it."

so... through another series of what my wife and i now call "God events," i started a new season in life that involved me leaving my secure job, my home, my friends, and so much more in california, and moving my family to georgia to join a missions organization called operation mobilization as a missionary working with the creative arts and specifically music. so to bottom-line it all: i now live in a place thousands of miles away from my extended family and friends working in a job that requires that i generate 100% of my income from independent donations. and on the other side of the coin, i'm in an occupation that marries my passion for music, art, and creativity with my passion for God. and i've never felt such freedom, purpose, and confidence in that i know beyond a shadow of a doubt that - at this very moment - this is what i'm supposed to be doing...

title of blog

so for my first post, how about a little explanation of the title, eh? could it be related to being a displaced californian living in georgia? maybe, but for me it's much bigger... as we exist in the now, are we not aware that there is more to this life than what we typically experience? as we look into the rest of eternity, is there not a part of us that knows something greater exists on the other side of this mortal existence? and for me personally, in the awareness that once this body has breathed its last i will in an instant and forever be with the Lover of my soul, my Creator, my Savior, the Uncaused Cause... is it unreasonable that the effects of that knowledge would create a view of the present tinted with a longing for things to come?